I've read, okay listened to a few books lately...some are quite impressive. However, I have to admit I was impressed with the sermon today at church; especially, the part about how we all make "To Do" list but what about our "To Don't" list. What is a "To Don't" list, you ask? The things or items in your life that you really don't need to be doing - maybe they are taking you away from the things you need to be doing, like spending time with you husband and kids. So as I am sitting there thinking about this - honestly, it didn't take long to realize what I don't need to be doing any longer or maybe just not as much of it.
FACEBOOK was on top of that list - Friday night, I was blessed to spend time with Ali and two friends, we went and saw The Smurf's (cute~cute movie) anyways! Anyways, I thought it would be cute to post that we were at the theatre, and immediately Ali says "She's always on Facebook" and our little guest says "So is my mom" - that was a slap of reality - I guess I didn't realize that by me keep in touch with my friends and extended family I was not spending time with my daughter and son. Of course, they are usually engrossed in a television show, but apparently watching with them is spending time with them. So, Dear Facebook - we will not be spending as much time with each other.
My other "To Don't" is AVON - OH MY Gosh! I do enjoy their products and I'm so grateful for the opportunity to sell their products to benefit the company - but seriously! I signed up with the hopes and I even prayed that I would make extra money, I have spent more money - than I could have ever made. So with that being said - Dear AVON, Campaign 16 is my last order. If anyone wants to place an order please go to www.myavon.com/acockran - She deserves your orders. Oh! I am not signing up with anymore "At Home Businesses" - if I feel we need more income in our home; I'll stop spending extra cash on stuff we do not need....It will definitely bring more money in.
For now this is my "To Don't" List.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
The trials of Motherhood aka: Life
So it's been a while since I've posted, so much has been going on...busy at work mainly. I really thought I had things under control, well within the best of my abilities, until reality smacked me straight in the face...
When you have children, some say that is the happiest day of their life and some say as their children grow they are the joys of their life, the light of their eyes; how do you describe the day you hear your child say "I want to live..with the other parent?"
How do you pick yourself up off the floor? We have complete compassion towards our children for not being with their "others" enough ~ I can't imagine how it feels or how they deal with coming / going between different houses. How do I know....How do I know anything?
I feel so completely lost, so completely broken ~ I give so much everyday to make our house a Home and I'm so scared that I'm going to lose the most important person in my life, the only child I'll ever have (I am unable to have more children). She needs her dad as much as she needs her mom ~ maybe I sound completely selfish.
Is she missing him, because he works out of town so many days a month? Does she really need to live with him? How do you know whats best? How do you know if your being selfish by keeping them, when do you let them try?
.....then our son, Bless his Heart, he just wants his mom to be apart of his life....he doesn't understand why she wouldn't want to be at his games or school functions. Why or how can a parent be so completely selfish? How does a selfish parent sleep? How can you possibly feel full filled knowing (or maybe they are not-knowing) that you've not put your child first?
My heart breaks when our children, yes! I say our children, hurt....I don't understand why people feel they need to discuss issues, aka: adult issues, in front of children. What is the urgency in making children grow up? Why do you feel they need to know every aspect of your life? Do you not know what boundaries are? When to just tell a child "Because I said, So." I dont think a child should go to "special" meetings, hear about financial issues, marital problems, and when parents argue. Do we disagree, yes we do have our times of disagreement ~ and when our children hear us we apologize, we reassure them that we love them and that sometimes adults' voices get louder than they should ~ they see our signs of affection (hugs, laughing, kisses, joking) ~ We love our children and we are raising them in a healthy family environment.
Children are to remain innocent ~ they are the closest thing to Heaven we have here on earth...if we as parents do not protect their minds and their thoughts, you are taking their innocents.
The Bible says......
Matthew 18: 1-4 says: At that time the disciples approached Jesus and said, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" He called a child over, placed it in their midst, and said, "Amen, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
I read this scripture the other night and it has hit me so hard; I have been so sensitive towards our children and their innocence. They need to be protected, that is what parents are for ~ protection ~ you should shield your children from everything possibly harmful, guard their hearts, their eyes, their minds, their mouths ~ Teach them the word of God, not the word of the World. Hence the meaning "Born Again". When a child prays, it is so powerful ~ they have no guilty pleasures ~ they are completely pure. As parents its our responsibility to guide them in this direction.
Why are adults so defensive when a conversation needs to take place? Sometimes, it needs to be understood that; this is for the good of "our" child ~ yours, mine and ours...its not what your doing wrong, its a simple, "Please, If you would, Please".
I'm not sure why the non-custodial parent feels the need to start saying "well, if I don't like what your doing at your house; and the list beings" ~ this isn't a competition, we really would rather not have to call and ask for your assistance in raising ~ yours, mine and our ~ children. We would rather prefer to think that common sense would come into play, especially when (or if) your having a difficult time in understanding why at times your having a difficult time at your home with the child/ren....maybe, this could help; but instead you'd rather play the blame game, instead of just apologizing and considering what is being said.
If divorced parents could build a mutual respect for each other ~ yea I get it ~ we are all divorced now, and a lack of respect is why we probably are all divorced ~ but guess what, when you have a child with someone, your still a family! Like it or not you are; your still tied together, your just not living together, so find a mutual ground, some mutual respect and figure out how to work together; even when one has something to say that the other doesn't necessarily wants to hear. Suck it up! Geesh!
Wears me out, wears us out...custodial parents really get tired of having to call and "ask" for help. It makes us uncomfortable to even have to pick up the phone to bring something up, peace is all we want for our children...So the next time we call, take into consideration ~ its about the children, not you or me or us....its about the child/ren.
I'm not sure if this makes sense to anyone but me ~ I do know that I'm deeply sadden by the fact my daughter is old enough, (yet, proud enough to know she's strong enough), to speak her mind. Now, my job as a Mother is to pray, and ask God for guidance....guidance for both of us. I can't make this decision; I can't make any decision on my own.
Without him, I'm nothing ~ ~ Quelle Surprise!
When you have children, some say that is the happiest day of their life and some say as their children grow they are the joys of their life, the light of their eyes; how do you describe the day you hear your child say "I want to live..with the other parent?"
How do you pick yourself up off the floor? We have complete compassion towards our children for not being with their "others" enough ~ I can't imagine how it feels or how they deal with coming / going between different houses. How do I know....How do I know anything?
I feel so completely lost, so completely broken ~ I give so much everyday to make our house a Home and I'm so scared that I'm going to lose the most important person in my life, the only child I'll ever have (I am unable to have more children). She needs her dad as much as she needs her mom ~ maybe I sound completely selfish.
Is she missing him, because he works out of town so many days a month? Does she really need to live with him? How do you know whats best? How do you know if your being selfish by keeping them, when do you let them try?
.....then our son, Bless his Heart, he just wants his mom to be apart of his life....he doesn't understand why she wouldn't want to be at his games or school functions. Why or how can a parent be so completely selfish? How does a selfish parent sleep? How can you possibly feel full filled knowing (or maybe they are not-knowing) that you've not put your child first?
My heart breaks when our children, yes! I say our children, hurt....I don't understand why people feel they need to discuss issues, aka: adult issues, in front of children. What is the urgency in making children grow up? Why do you feel they need to know every aspect of your life? Do you not know what boundaries are? When to just tell a child "Because I said, So." I dont think a child should go to "special" meetings, hear about financial issues, marital problems, and when parents argue. Do we disagree, yes we do have our times of disagreement ~ and when our children hear us we apologize, we reassure them that we love them and that sometimes adults' voices get louder than they should ~ they see our signs of affection (hugs, laughing, kisses, joking) ~ We love our children and we are raising them in a healthy family environment.
Children are to remain innocent ~ they are the closest thing to Heaven we have here on earth...if we as parents do not protect their minds and their thoughts, you are taking their innocents.
The Bible says......
Matthew 18: 1-4 says: At that time the disciples approached Jesus and said, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" He called a child over, placed it in their midst, and said, "Amen, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
I read this scripture the other night and it has hit me so hard; I have been so sensitive towards our children and their innocence. They need to be protected, that is what parents are for ~ protection ~ you should shield your children from everything possibly harmful, guard their hearts, their eyes, their minds, their mouths ~ Teach them the word of God, not the word of the World. Hence the meaning "Born Again". When a child prays, it is so powerful ~ they have no guilty pleasures ~ they are completely pure. As parents its our responsibility to guide them in this direction.
Why are adults so defensive when a conversation needs to take place? Sometimes, it needs to be understood that; this is for the good of "our" child ~ yours, mine and ours...its not what your doing wrong, its a simple, "Please, If you would, Please".
I'm not sure why the non-custodial parent feels the need to start saying "well, if I don't like what your doing at your house; and the list beings" ~ this isn't a competition, we really would rather not have to call and ask for your assistance in raising ~ yours, mine and our ~ children. We would rather prefer to think that common sense would come into play, especially when (or if) your having a difficult time in understanding why at times your having a difficult time at your home with the child/ren....maybe, this could help; but instead you'd rather play the blame game, instead of just apologizing and considering what is being said.
If divorced parents could build a mutual respect for each other ~ yea I get it ~ we are all divorced now, and a lack of respect is why we probably are all divorced ~ but guess what, when you have a child with someone, your still a family! Like it or not you are; your still tied together, your just not living together, so find a mutual ground, some mutual respect and figure out how to work together; even when one has something to say that the other doesn't necessarily wants to hear. Suck it up! Geesh!
Wears me out, wears us out...custodial parents really get tired of having to call and "ask" for help. It makes us uncomfortable to even have to pick up the phone to bring something up, peace is all we want for our children...So the next time we call, take into consideration ~ its about the children, not you or me or us....its about the child/ren.
I'm not sure if this makes sense to anyone but me ~ I do know that I'm deeply sadden by the fact my daughter is old enough, (yet, proud enough to know she's strong enough), to speak her mind. Now, my job as a Mother is to pray, and ask God for guidance....guidance for both of us. I can't make this decision; I can't make any decision on my own.
Without him, I'm nothing ~ ~ Quelle Surprise!
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Happy New Year, 2011
Weightloss & New Year Resolutions:
New Year Resolutions??? I mean what is this? I've never been a big believer in them, probably because when someone has said "my NYR is: to lose weight, to not eat chocolate, etc", it seems that by the end of January; sometimes by the 15th of January, they've gained 10lbs because they've eaten everything chocolate in sight. Why would someone make a promise to themself just to break it. Then again, if you can't keep a promise to yourself, how could anyone think you can keep a promise about anything else. Wow, an insight on a person. I'm not willing to set myself up like that.
To all the weightloss places who run adds on the telly around the new year, should be ashammed, talk about highway robbery! <Honest Telly Advertisement> "Hi, we know you've made a NYR to lose weight, and we have this amazing 24 month contract ~ that you can't get out of ~ so come in, we promise, that we'll automatically withdrawal from you checking for 24 months and in 3 months, we will NEVER see you again"...Wow! Weightloss place, thanks! The only thing I've ever lost was the money out of my checking accout and the weight of my wallet...I just got it ~ it has nothing to do with your BMI!
Honestly, I'm not sure how this makes a difference, if your going to lose the weight, then it's about you and only YOU ~ so what if you've TRIED 100's of other things, the problem is you've TRIED....if you actually DID it then you would have LOST it. I mean, think about it...if all just TRIED to do the laundry, whoo ~ it would be horrible ~ lots of naked people ~ thank goodness for the people who actually DO the laundry. Quit doing things half way! There's no quick fix, no miracle drink, stop making excuses ~ Your LAZY, Your a COUCH POTATO.
Everyday, I wake up and pray to be a better me: wife, mother, friend, sister, daughter...whatever hat I'm wearing for that day. Am I going to be that quiet person, who keeps her mouth shut ~ probably not. Does my loving hubby wish I would, OH I am 1,000% sure at times he does. I am definitely quick to speak, and wish I would have thought about what I should have said, or how I should have said it differently ~ maybe I wouldn't have hurt someone, someone that I care and love deeply. Unfortunately, you can't go back and repair the damage you've done, you can apologize and hope that what you do from this point on will only show who you are and want to be from this point forward. I know that I need to learn to not speak with so many emotions ~ I have such a hurtful tongue ~ maybe I should grab the Louisiana hotsauce and a toothpick for myself sometimes, okay alot of times.
New Year Resolutions??? I mean what is this? I've never been a big believer in them, probably because when someone has said "my NYR is: to lose weight, to not eat chocolate, etc", it seems that by the end of January; sometimes by the 15th of January, they've gained 10lbs because they've eaten everything chocolate in sight. Why would someone make a promise to themself just to break it. Then again, if you can't keep a promise to yourself, how could anyone think you can keep a promise about anything else. Wow, an insight on a person. I'm not willing to set myself up like that.
To all the weightloss places who run adds on the telly around the new year, should be ashammed, talk about highway robbery! <Honest Telly Advertisement> "Hi, we know you've made a NYR to lose weight, and we have this amazing 24 month contract ~ that you can't get out of ~ so come in, we promise, that we'll automatically withdrawal from you checking for 24 months and in 3 months, we will NEVER see you again"...Wow! Weightloss place, thanks! The only thing I've ever lost was the money out of my checking accout and the weight of my wallet...I just got it ~ it has nothing to do with your BMI!
Honestly, I'm not sure how this makes a difference, if your going to lose the weight, then it's about you and only YOU ~ so what if you've TRIED 100's of other things, the problem is you've TRIED....if you actually DID it then you would have LOST it. I mean, think about it...if all just TRIED to do the laundry, whoo ~ it would be horrible ~ lots of naked people ~ thank goodness for the people who actually DO the laundry. Quit doing things half way! There's no quick fix, no miracle drink, stop making excuses ~ Your LAZY, Your a COUCH POTATO.
Everyday, I wake up and pray to be a better me: wife, mother, friend, sister, daughter...whatever hat I'm wearing for that day. Am I going to be that quiet person, who keeps her mouth shut ~ probably not. Does my loving hubby wish I would, OH I am 1,000% sure at times he does. I am definitely quick to speak, and wish I would have thought about what I should have said, or how I should have said it differently ~ maybe I wouldn't have hurt someone, someone that I care and love deeply. Unfortunately, you can't go back and repair the damage you've done, you can apologize and hope that what you do from this point on will only show who you are and want to be from this point forward. I know that I need to learn to not speak with so many emotions ~ I have such a hurtful tongue ~ maybe I should grab the Louisiana hotsauce and a toothpick for myself sometimes, okay alot of times.
I guess I should tell ya'll a little bit about myself, there's a book called "Men Are Like Waffles--Women Are Like Spaghetti by: Bill & Pam Farrel" the book explains why a man is like a waffle (each element of his life is in a separate box), why a woman is life spaghetti (everything in her life touches everything else), and what these differences mean ~ it's an amazing book ~ way better than the Venus vs. Mars (way weird book!) anyways ~ I'm totally Spaghetti. I'm all over the place, so may need a big bowl, fork and a hefty appetite to read my post...but I promise I'll get to my point ~ ~ eventually. :o)
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