So it's been a while since I've posted, so much has been going on...busy at work mainly. I really thought I had things under control, well within the best of my abilities, until reality smacked me straight in the face...
When you have children, some say that is the happiest day of their life and some say as their children grow they are the joys of their life, the light of their eyes; how do you describe the day you hear your child say "I want to live..with the other parent?"
How do you pick yourself up off the floor? We have complete compassion towards our children for not being with their "others" enough ~ I can't imagine how it feels or how they deal with coming / going between different houses. How do I know....How do I know anything?
I feel so completely lost, so completely broken ~ I give so much everyday to make our house a Home and I'm so scared that I'm going to lose the most important person in my life, the only child I'll ever have (I am unable to have more children). She needs her dad as much as she needs her mom ~ maybe I sound completely selfish.
Is she missing him, because he works out of town so many days a month? Does she really need to live with him? How do you know whats best? How do you know if your being selfish by keeping them, when do you let them try?
.....then our son, Bless his Heart, he just wants his mom to be apart of his life....he doesn't understand why she wouldn't want to be at his games or school functions. Why or how can a parent be so completely selfish? How does a selfish parent sleep? How can you possibly feel full filled knowing (or maybe they are not-knowing) that you've not put your child first?
My heart breaks when our children, yes! I say our children, hurt....I don't understand why people feel they need to discuss issues, aka: adult issues, in front of children. What is the urgency in making children grow up? Why do you feel they need to know every aspect of your life? Do you not know what boundaries are? When to just tell a child "Because I said, So." I dont think a child should go to "special" meetings, hear about financial issues, marital problems, and when parents argue. Do we disagree, yes we do have our times of disagreement ~ and when our children hear us we apologize, we reassure them that we love them and that sometimes adults' voices get louder than they should ~ they see our signs of affection (hugs, laughing, kisses, joking) ~ We love our children and we are raising them in a healthy family environment.
Children are to remain innocent ~ they are the closest thing to Heaven we have here on earth...if we as parents do not protect their minds and their thoughts, you are taking their innocents.
The Bible says......
Matthew 18: 1-4 says: At that time the disciples approached Jesus and said, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" He called a child over, placed it in their midst, and said, "Amen, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
I read this scripture the other night and it has hit me so hard; I have been so sensitive towards our children and their innocence. They need to be protected, that is what parents are for ~ protection ~ you should shield your children from everything possibly harmful, guard their hearts, their eyes, their minds, their mouths ~ Teach them the word of God, not the word of the World. Hence the meaning "Born Again". When a child prays, it is so powerful ~ they have no guilty pleasures ~ they are completely pure. As parents its our responsibility to guide them in this direction.
Why are adults so defensive when a conversation needs to take place? Sometimes, it needs to be understood that; this is for the good of "our" child ~ yours, mine and ours...its not what your doing wrong, its a simple, "Please, If you would, Please".
I'm not sure why the non-custodial parent feels the need to start saying "well, if I don't like what your doing at your house; and the list beings" ~ this isn't a competition, we really would rather not have to call and ask for your assistance in raising ~ yours, mine and our ~ children. We would rather prefer to think that common sense would come into play, especially when (or if) your having a difficult time in understanding why at times your having a difficult time at your home with the child/ren....maybe, this could help; but instead you'd rather play the blame game, instead of just apologizing and considering what is being said.
If divorced parents could build a mutual respect for each other ~ yea I get it ~ we are all divorced now, and a lack of respect is why we probably are all divorced ~ but guess what, when you have a child with someone, your still a family! Like it or not you are; your still tied together, your just not living together, so find a mutual ground, some mutual respect and figure out how to work together; even when one has something to say that the other doesn't necessarily wants to hear. Suck it up! Geesh!
Wears me out, wears us out...custodial parents really get tired of having to call and "ask" for help. It makes us uncomfortable to even have to pick up the phone to bring something up, peace is all we want for our children...So the next time we call, take into consideration ~ its about the children, not you or me or us....its about the child/ren.
I'm not sure if this makes sense to anyone but me ~ I do know that I'm deeply sadden by the fact my daughter is old enough, (yet, proud enough to know she's strong enough), to speak her mind. Now, my job as a Mother is to pray, and ask God for guidance....guidance for both of us. I can't make this decision; I can't make any decision on my own.
Without him, I'm nothing ~ ~ Quelle Surprise!
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